There was a time when things made sense to me. I don't know exactly when that was or when it stopped but I do know I had it. Or at least I thought I had it. What I do know is that life and everything in it seemed to be going in a logical direction and all of its players seemed to be okay with it. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I'm caught between two generations who think completely differently about the world.
You have folks my parents' age who feel that hard work, sacrifice, facing adversity head on, living within your means, keeping a stiff upper lip, not always getting what you want, discipline, etc, will get you where you need to be in life. Not only that but life/society will actually reward you for all of your hard work. Honor. Loyalty. Honesty. These things really meant something to them. They've been drafted into wars or at least seen what that feels like. Sweat got these people somewhere. They worked hard and they played hard and there was a mutual respect for both. Divorce was an option but it wasn't a convenient or nonchalant option. Eating out was a luxury which was done on special occasions. They knew how to cook, how to sew, how to iron, how to change a flat tire, how to unclog a toilet, how to read a map, how to keep a box score of a baseball game, etc. Not everything was perfect, as nothing is, but a lot of the values seemed to make sense to me. They weren't exactly gay friendly. They didn't give women their equality. They weren't necessarily as 'sensitive' to everyone and everything. They needed work but I always saw it as a work in progress. And this brings us to today's kids who are growing up and entering the workforce.
This younger generation feels that with all of their education, all of their contacts, all of their know-how, their technological advantages, etc, that their way is THE way of the present and future. Play dates and baby Einsteins must have done some good, right? Why should I have to eat a steak that isn't cooked exactly as I ordered it? Why should I have to come in for an 8:30am meeting when my shift begins at 9am? The company certainly doesn't care to pay me for it. Why shouldn't I be paid a great salary right out of college when I know more than the sixty-something burn out who makes six figures for taking twice the time to do something? After all, I got great grades AND I'm working towards my MBA! And the funny thing is that their parents are the ones instilling these expectations upon them (these same parents that I described above). They've taken ice skating lessons, dance lessons, done internships, know two to three languages, studied abroad in Prague, they blog, post regularly on Facebook, send text messages, send email, utilize Twitter, have Roth IRAs, know which sushi to order, find great deals online for virtually everything under the sun, etc. These are not dumb people. They have been trained to know what they want, what they should have based on the work they've put in, what they won't stand for, etc. Like I said, they certainly are not dumb but they don't seem to know the value in failing; or at least not always getting what they want, when they want it.
Where does that leave me? I know how to work hard. I respect those around me. I know how valuable technology is. I have a respect for those I share this world with. Yet, I feel left behind. Like this isn't working for me anymore. I feel like a sucker. Like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I know my worth but I think that a person has to pay their dues no matter what they think they know. I see the value in playing outside in the dirt and it not having a direct 'purpose' all the time. I see why talking on the cell phone while interacting with a person at a place of business is wrong. I understand why sometimes a text message does not and will never replace the sound of a person's voice. I comprehend why getting your news from a credible source is more valuable than hearing what Kim Kardashian or Alec Baldwin has to say about it via tweet. I know that you can't say "I'm living paycheck to paycheck" if you're eating out 6 nights a week. I think learning the difference between "you're" and "your" is important. I feel that Sex & the City and The Housewives of ... are not good examples of what a person should strive for in life, yet so many people watch and inadvertently mimic them. I don't think making a pornographic video should get a person to celebrity status. I don't think sampling an artist's catchiest melody should allow another 'artist' to climb their way to fame. I think you should be able to apologize and admit when you're wrong. I think you should be aware of yourself and your surroundings. I miss rooting for the underdog. Lloyd Dobler from "Say Anything" would be dubbed a loser today because he didn't know exactly what he wanted to do with his life. He didn't have a ten year plan and did not know if he'd ever hit six figures. He might never have a Rolex. He might never drive a BMW. But we all liked him. At least people my age liked him. And were we so wrong for liking him? The Molly Ringwald character in "The Breakfast Club" was poked fun at for having sushi for lunch. Now everyone wants to be Claire from the same movie. I'm utterly confused. I thought we wanted the guy with nothing to win? We seem to vote on things for those who are less fortunate and yet we imitate those who have everything. I guess what we want for others and what we want for ourselves are very different.
So this is where I am. I'm 36 years old. I feel like I have good values. I feel like I do the right things. I feel like I'm a good person who has a lot to offer the world. So much of what I was taught as a child does not apply in the real world. I'm doing alright financially and yet I don't feel as if I'm doing alright with what I know to be true, for me, as me. And I guess the most confusing this is that I don't understand why. The rich are getting richer. The poor are getting poorer. The middle class is disappearing. And yet we put people like Paris Hilton on a pedestal and continually bash people like Tim Tebow. I realize that I'm a white male who has no right to complain about anything because my birthright says I should be king of the world without any problems. But you know what? I'm still confused.
... to be continued
